Jen The Elf
With the lack of snow this year, Ol’ Santa’s been getting worried about conditions for the reindeer and his sled on Christmas Eve, so, like any wired-tight gift-giving expert, he’s been thinking of alternate plans for getting around on the big night.
He mentioned this to a few elves in passing a few weeks ago.
All he did was simply say he was thinking about taking one of the other sleds that would handle the lack of snow a little better.
That was all it took for one of the cuter Elves, Jen the Elf, to spring into action. You have to understand that Jen the Elf is a little bit of a mischievous minx, who as it happens, has a weak spot for riding motorcycles. Once you understand that, it’s really no surprise what Jen the Elf did next.
She bided her time, keeping up with her North Pole chores while making plans to surprise Santa, and score a ride on the big night in the process. It was hard for her to concentrate. Jen the Elf kept daydreaming about the crisp wind in her face, whipping through her hair and tying it into happy knots as she snuggled up behind the big guy for a long-awaited ride around the world, delivering presents and holiday cheer as they went.
Finally, Jen the Elf figured it was time to put her plan into action. She sneaked into the garage, and rolled one of Santa’s favorite sleds—a 2009 Indian Roadmaster—into the woods behind the workshop. There, she meticulously cleaned and polished every inch of the scooter until is shone and glimmered in the scarce North Pole light.
About the time Jen the Elf finished cleaning and polishing, and was starting to load gifts onto the Roadmaster, The big fat guy wandered into the garage munching a cookie, looking for a screwdriver to fix a toy. He was so focused on the cookie he almost didn’t notice that his favorite ride was gone. He dropped his cookie. It crumbled when it hit the floor, and panic gripped the big guy.
Luckily, while Jen the Elf was an accomplished troublemaker and motorcycle mistress, she was not so good at sneaking around.
Santa spotted the trail of presents Jen the Elf had left behind her as she hauled them out to the sled. He followed the trail, and, there in the woods behind the workshop, he found Jen the Elf and a bunch of presents.
Busted, Jen the Elf put on her best impish grin and explained how she wanted to ride along on Christmas Eve, and she figured rather than ask, she wanted to show initiative by prepping the Roadmaster and getting the gifts loaded.
Santa thought for a moment, and appreciated her efforts, though he was miffed about the dropped cookie. The big guy caved, and told Jen the Elf she’ be coming along on the big night, but she had to bake more cookies for moving his scooter—and make up for the one he dropped.
The other elves were all jealous of Jen the Elf, but they pitched in to load up the Roadmaster so it was ready to go. Jen the Elf was, as you might imagine, very proud of herself, and looked forward excitedly to going for a ride.
All this just goes to show that big fat guys with beards on motorcycles with pretty girls behind them go together year-round…especially at Christmas.
When Jen the Elf isn’t scamming motorcycle rides, she studies pre-med in an effort to become the first Elf Doctor at one of Colorado’s institutions of higher elf education.