Schoolgirls Plan To Run Wild

So, we’re zippin’ along at about 90 mph, heading North on Highway 85 to the friendliest girlie bar in the Rockies, when up in the distance we spot a plaid skirt fluttering in the breeze behind a bike, revealing a nicely shaped ass perched on the back. This is perhaps the 100th or so of these we’ve seen this day, and it is just as interesting and fun to watch as the first one. We slow down for a little better look. As we to pass, the raven-haired temptress sunning her cheeks gives us a big smile and a little finger wave. Then, she reached to her blouse as if to open it. Instead she laughed and waved as we twisted the throttle.

This is what the Catholic Schoolgirl Run is all about. What fun!

And that fun will happen again this year on Saturday June 25th. Sponsored each year by the Rocky Mountain Chapter of the UMF of America, the 2011 run is shaping up to be a rollicking good time again this year.

For only $20, participants get a poker hand, and directions to the next stop…and an invitation to have fun.

“This is all done tongue-in-cheek,” explained UMF spokesman Hollywood. “This is just an effort to bring together bikers who want to have fun. We like to call it the ugliest run in Colorado.”

The Annual Catholic Schoolgirl Run is all about fun…and nothing else. No charities are involved, no altruistic causes, and no kids…this one is all about bikers having a good time.

The good times start Saturday morning at one of two run start points. The northern start is at the Sundance Steakhouse at 2716 East Mulberry in Fort Collins. The southern Start point is at the Rocky Mountain Saloon at 4329 Highway 66—just off Interstate 25 at exit 243.

Registration starts at 9am, and riders can leave at anytime after registering and getting their first card. The first stop is Adventures Bar in Evans, followed by Dick’s Tavern in Ault. From there, it’s a quick burn up Highway 85 to Pierce and the Full Moon Saloon. All along the route, bawdy fun, food, frosty beverages and good times will be plentiful.

The final stop is The Den, a fine gentleman’s club just over the state line in Wyoming on Highway 85. There, a pretty good party gets going as the poker run winner is determined—with prizes for the top hand and the worst hand. There are also a few contests that have to have winners crowned…like Miss catholic Schoolgirl, The Naughty Nun, The most original outfit, and others. In the past, in addition to a bevy of schoolgirls, there have been nuns, priests, a Pope or two, more than a few headmasters and head mistresses and Jesus has even been spotted putting up Highway 85.

Everyone is encouraged to dress up in the spirit of the day…and it’s easy to do. Ladies are encouraged to dress in their best imitation of Catholic schoolgirl outfit - short plaid skirt, white shirt, white knee-highs, and kinky underwear. A good place to shop for this stuff is your local thrift store. Apparently, real Catholic schoolgirls sell their clothes as soon as they graduate.

Guys, wear whatever the hell you want, but try not to look like a yuppie – there’s an image to maintain here.

“What happens on the Catholic Schoolgirl Run, stays at the Catholic Schoolgirl Run,” Hollywood said. “This is just about having a good time and riding motorcycles. That’s all.

To find out a little more about having a fun with the UMF on the Catholic Schoolgirl Run, go to www. www.rockymountainumf.com.