WITH A TONGUE LIKE COW, SHE'LL MAKE YOU GO "WOW..."

If you thought the jokes about farmers having intimate relations with their livestock were just jokes, you’re right. It’s the cops chasing after the critters…at least in New Jersey.

Additional charges have been filed against former Moorestown, NJ, police officer Robert Melia after allegations surfaced last month that he performed several sexual acts with livestock, specifically cows.

The 38-year-old Melia has been charged with four counts of animal cruelty after purposely and knowingly tormenting an animal, specifically by having a cow perform fellatio, according to the Burlington County, NJ, Prosecutor's Office.

Police had originally arrested Melia and his ex-girlfriend, Heather Lewis, 32, April 12 after allegations surfaced that the pair had sexually assaulted three juvenile females. Each was charged with three counts of first-degree aggravated sexual assault, and one count of second-degree sexual assault in that case.

Due to the nature of the investigation, authorities did not reveal how they uncovered the incidents involving the cows that occurred on four separate occasions between June and December of 2006 in Southampton, which is located within Burlington County.

Melia has been held at Burlington County Jail with a bail of $500,000, according to authorities. After charges of the bovine fellatio were brought, Burlington County. Superior Court Judge John Almeida added an additional $10,000 to the bail amount.

Like Frank Zappa said, “With a tongue like a cow, she can make you go, ‘WOW!’”
Officials are still investigating the matter.